Regaining Life Through Food and Movement

Back in 2004, I graduated high school and went straight to Boston, MA to attend Berklee College of Music. I was 18 years old and 125lbs. Three years later, in 2007, I graduated with a Bachelors Degree in Music Business/Management and an extra 70lbs.! At age 21, I had peaked to 195lbs and stabilized at 185lbs. I was in bad shape, emotionally distraught, broken within and without. By the time I left Boston, MA in 2008, I had dropped a few pounds because at some point I realized I had to do something. But it was extremely difficult on my mind.  I had struggled to pay the rent, utilities and anything else that was mandatory to pay. I remember how angry I was to have mismanaged my money, my time, my energy and in the end, it didn't benefit me... so I thought. When you're broke, hungry and unhealthy, your whole entire world just crashes. That was a time of great depression, anxiety, anger, "insert negative emotion here," you name it. I remember having to go to the store and buy a container of oatmeal, you know the big ones, that only cost me $2.45, so that I could eat for a month. EVERYTHING was rationed out. I hated myself, I hated my situation, and only I was to blame. I allowed my life and my emotions to control me so much to my breaking point that I almost committed suicide. It was a BAD TIME! Did I want to purposely kick the bucket? Absolutely not! But the physical, emotional and mental pain that I was experiencing, was just too much.



There was a friend who guided me through my drama and got me back to a steady ground. She knows who she is and I thank her forever for it. I can honestly say, if it wasn't for her, I would have definitely "X"ed myself out of this world. I know because I tried.

My last few month in Boston, I worked for my school and couldn't wait to get out of there. Everything I imagined my college years to be, went out the window with the experiences I had which, I really wasn't ready for. So, I would go to work and come home and sleep. And cry. And sleep. And cry. My mind was so messed up that I started to experience some serious spiritual turmoil. I began to have these dreams or feelings of being dragged off my bed, taunted, etc. I knew that I had to do something. Prayer was not working and my physiology was all jacked up. So, to silence the "voices in my head" I remember, going out with friends and smoking up a storm until my reality became snuffed out in the clouds of smoke. And I would drink until I couldn't feel. Yet, the whole time I was aware of everything that was going on. My last few months in Boston was a smoke-fest. Then, I realized that every morning after I would drink, I would have to go to the bathroom and ..uhh... to put it nicely... release toxins lol. What I noticed was that the beer was having a cleaning out affect on me. So what do you think I did? Yup. BRING ON THE BEER!!! At some point, the little voice in my head said, "Stop. Don't do this anymore. Find another way." So after a cry-fest, I forced myself out of my funk. DAMN WAS THAT HARD!!! But I had the support of amazing friends. And everyone who was joining me in my purposeful destruction, as well as theirs, decided with me that something had to change with them too. So my last 2 months in Boston were spent going to work then, coming home and going for a run. I drank a lot of water and ate a lot of oatmeal with maple syrup. And I started to lose weight and feel better. I pushed my body to a point where I didn't care if I was in pain for the benefit of getting healthy, because I had already experienced the pain due to destruction of self. There was this awesome site a friend put me onto called www.iwantsixpackabs.com. I would do those workouts as best as I could, with a lot of running. And I started on my journey to become the size I wanted to be. At age 8, I was 160lbs. At age 21, I was 185lbs. I told myself... NEVER AGAIN! Now, soon to be 25, I maintain a weight of 130-135lbs. If you don't believe me. Check this out:

The picture on the left was taken on my 21st birthday and the picture on the right was taken when I was 23.

How did I do it? Well, after getting out the dramatic death wish, and the military mindset I entered to drop the pounds, I decided to educate myself on foods that would increase my metabolism. If you starve yourself, you body is going to register that and believe, "Oh well, guess we aren't eating today." But the second you decide to eat, your body takes whatever you've put in, healthy or unhealthy, and starts storing it away in your body because it has been conditioned to believe, yes your body can "think," that it will not get food again for a long time and needs to put some in reserve. As a result, you get the rings around your tummy. It sounds strange to say, "Eat so you can lose weight" but its true. You must eat frequently to keep your metabolism active.  NOW, what you put in is what you have to be mindful of. I like food (obviously-see above pic) and I'm not picky at all. I like trying new things. So when my friend and I started to learn about nutrition and different eating lifestyle such as being a Rawist, Vegan, and Vegetarian, I had a lot of fun trying the "weird" foods. Coming from a hispanic household of "rice and beans" was not going to suit me anymore. I had to learn about carbs, proteins, gluten, legumes, what a fruit really was, and a vegetable really was, what's in water... a lot! But I wanted to. My health became my passion. So I learned. And learned. And learned.

First, I started with detoxing. I can't advise anyone on how to detox because you and only you know your body. But I can give the basics. Everyone has a ph balance. When you test the water in a fish tank with a little ph balance kit, you are testing to see if the water is to acidic or to basic for the fish to live in. The goal would be to have it at a 7.0 ph balance. Like the fishies, we have a ph balance as well and the goal is to get it as close as possible to the center.

The chart above gives examples of what foods or items are acidic or basic. The goal is to get as close as possible to pure water, that would make sense since we are made up of about 98% water. Clearly drinking a lot of water will dilute your system , but expect to go to the bathroom a whole lot. Where people fail in doing a water detox is that they don't realize that yes, you may be diluting the toxins in your body, making it easier to come out but you are also stripping your body from its nutrients. If you take vitamins out with the toxins, you MUST put vitamins back in. I stress this point to you, because this is exactly where I failed. I drank so much water, and didn't eat the proper foods ie. veggies (all kinds... get creative) and fruits that would put vitamins back in, that about a year ago, I ended up in the doctors office with PMDD and SAD (I suggest clicking on those sites.) I was literally having a chemical breakdown and my body was dying. It's a sucky feeling to know your living, but you're experiencing your body just crumble. I was acting irrational, angry, frustrated, out of control and could not get a grip for the life of me.

That moment changed my outlook on life again. Again,I  started to take my health seriously. I had slacked once again and decided along with never damaging my body again with unnecessary weight, I would not allow my chemical makeup to suffer either. That day at the doctor's office, Dr. Lipton, who actually was the doctor who took my out of my mother's womb, called me weak minded and told me I needed to get a grip and a handle on my mind before I tried to get a handle on my body. Obviously, I didn't like what he said but I decided to listen. It was either that, or be drugged up on anti-depressants. I was ready for the pills, but I decided, "Let's try this one more time." He suggested I study yoga. I'm glad I listened.

Yoga, in its most basic form, is just movement. It's another exercise. But what makes it so powerful is why people do it and what each movement, which is put into a routine of sorts, does to the actually body. Its a practice that dates back to ancient times in India and has been practiced all over the eastern and now western world. A lot of people believe its "taboo" but its really not. It's a series of movements that trains the mind and body to focus on what is happening in the moment without becoming attached to every single moment that is being experienced. I suggest everyone take a yoga class at least once. There are many place here in New York City, that offer free classes for beginners. But don't let the term "beginner" fool you. It's intense lol. But I promise you will not regret taking that first step to a healthier body and sound mind. Everything you desire to be starts in the mind, so if its messed up in there, a solution is needed.  The affects yoga had on my body where incredible. I became flexible, strong, confident, and there was a sense of freedom that came with it. I felt my body flowed better internally and externally.

One of my favorite yoga instructors in Tara Stiles, who has her studio, Strala Yoga, here in New York City. She is awesome, sweet, and loves what she does. I have practiced under her as well as instructors who have been trained by her. They are all great. Tara has had Deepak Chopra and Jane Fonda as students and both have nothing but great words for her. She recently collaborated with Jane Fonda on a new fitness program for Jane's "Workout" series, introducing yoga to her audiences.






I have worked out with Tara's Yoga Anywhere DVD and it's awesome. Actually, I used to be able to knock out this 1 hour workout with a breeze. But the second, I started to slack... WOOOO!!! Was this intense!  I haven't purchased the SilmCalmSexy Yoga book, but I'm meaning to as well as the Jane Fonda's Workout.




I advise everyone to take better care of themselves and don't be afraid to try something new. Understand that you have this body for the next 60+ years. Keep your machine well oil from the inside out. For those of you who would like to see what Tara is all about before attending a high recommended class, the following video should give you a slight idea as to what you are up for. Try it out at home in the morning. Don't watch it and think, "Oh this is easy." Actually DO IT! It may look easy, but its not if you've never done it before. But don't let that discourage you. It will be easier over time. You will feel amazing afterwards. Remember...No Pain, No Gain.







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